Balance in the universe

There's a phrase I use quite a bit: "there's balance in the universe."  Think about it--the balance of gravity and speed allowing planets to orbit stars.  Charge balances mass and speed as electrons orbit nuclei of molecules.  And usually when you get screwed over in some way, there's an up side in there somewhere. 

OK, not as cosmologically accurate, but it seems that way, doesn't it?  This applies in weight loss, too.  For instance, it was MUCH easier to gain this weight than it will be to take it off.  However, it seems that I am seeing results sooner as the weight goes down than it did when it went up.  Already, I can start feeling some muscle tone.  I'm actually aware of my muscles (which were darn near non-existent two months ago).  I can feel my energy level improving already, even with only 5-6 pounds gone. 

All this serves to motivate me a bit.  I've been more patient this time than in previous attempts to get my weight/life under control.  Hopefully this means that I'll be more successful.

I'm changing my life.  The weight will follow.

Stepping things up...

Well, after nearly a week of doing almost NO exercise (as the result of a combination of weather, location, and pre-scheduled activities), I've hit it hard this week.  I've been attempting to do more, shorter workouts.  In other words, rather than spending an hour on the machines every other day, I try to do 15-20 minutes twice a day.  I don't know if it has made much difference yet (too soon to tell), but I FEEL like it is.  I'll know better on Tuesday AM when I can use my "control" scale at home.   If I could believe the ones in the hotel workout rooms, I'd say I'd lost about 7 pounds in the last couple of weeks, which just ain't the case!  Besides, the actual "correct" number isn't what's important.  By that, I mean that I don't care what my weight is as much as how much it's changed.  SO-- I'll know how I've done in a few days.

However, my goal is NOT to hit a target weight.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, my goal is to change myself to a person with better habits.  Given that I got up early the last couple of days just to work out, I'd say I'm making some progress in that department!  I'm confident that if I stick with these changes, I will see the weight drop, the clothes fit better, and the muscles get stronger.

It's just a matter of time.

So this is working--right?

At this point, I've been working on the weight loss thing for about a month or so.  Even though my plan is to keep a good, steady pace at the weight loss (2-5 pounds per month), it's hard not to get discouraged that I'm not seeing much of a result on the scales.  At that slow of a pace, it's tough to see the change among the small weight fluctuations that happen day to day.  However, I have seen lower lows than I have in the past, and my "peaks" are lower as well--a good sign, I think.

I haven't seen much of a waistline change yet, either, but I have seen (or felt) at least one small change.  Since one of the parts of my plan is weight training, I can definitely see (and feel) improved muscle tone.  I'm nowhere near one of those guys on the P90X commercial, but I can finally see some limited definition in my shoulders, chest, and pipe cleaner arms!  Also, I can feel that I'm a bit more "solid" than before.

SO--even though the progress is slow, I'm OK with that.  If I lose 2-5 pounds per month, that could be as little as a 25 pound loss over the entire year.  Like I said, tough to see that day to day...

BUT--and as odd as this seems in a blog entitled "From 270 to 200", my goal is really not to lose weight.  My primary goal is now to change myself into a healthy person.  Frequent, regular exercise.  Better food choices Now, if I do that correctly, I will lose weight, but my goal is not to lose the weight but to change who I really am.  That's much harder than merely losing weight, but the payoff is much greater.

You see, if someone were to hand me a pill that caused me to lose 70 pounds over the course of a month, and I found myself looking at a big "200" on the scale in March, that would be great--except for the fact that I would immediately begin gaining that weight again.  The reason diets don't work is because dieters focus on a number (their weight), not on what got them there.  When (and if) they reach their goal weight, it's as if they say "game over" and go back to their "old lives."  If that's what got you fat the first time, it'll sure enough do it again.

Instead, by changing habit patterns, we change the road we walk that gets us where we are.  By turning myself into someone who doesn't hate exercise, that becomes a lifestyle--not a goal.  There's no "finish line" to distract me.  I won't look forward to the day when I can "get off this diet", because I'm not on a diet--I'm rebooting myself. 

I'll let you know how it goes...